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He has your smile…

by Christine Lindsey in

“Dear J.,

I hope this letter finds you well.  Everything with us is OK and very busy - M is growing and laughing - his favorite game is to jump off the last stair and yell “go, go!”  He’s also very full of activity and seems to be everywhere at once.  He’s got your smile - I know I’ve mentioned that to you before, but it never fails to surprise me when he smiles or laughs - it is your smile coming back at me….”

I’m not sure that I ever imagined writing a letter like this when I thought about my future family.   My husband and I have 3 children – 2 biological children and 1 adopted child.  Every adoptive family gets to that point by a different path – for us, we decided to adopt after we had “replaced ourselves on the earth” as my husband says.   We didn’t feel our family was complete yet, and so, after watching my sister adopt, we began to seriously consider the option for us as well.

M came to us after we completed our homestudy, attended our classes, and began the exhausting process of applying, waiting, and praying.  We got the call one afternoon when I was out with my daughter at gymnastics.  When the adoption worker said, “well, OK - I think this baby will be your match,” I didn’t believe her.  Was it really that easy in the end?

Once we got home, we began the process of becoming a transracial family.  There is a lot of information about transracial adoption on the internet, and we had read most of it.   But we were unprepared for the sudden interest in our family from friends and strangers alike.  We are still learning what it means for our family to be transracial, and I find myself educating family members and friends about M’s culture and ethnicity as quickly as I can learn about it. 

I do know that he is just a baby, though, regardless of his race or ethnicity.  He has no special powers, he still needs his diaper changed, and, most likely, he is climbing on the outside of the banister while you are reading this.  He is just like other children, and he is mine - even if he has his birth mother’s smile.   I think we’ll do just fine sharing him.  He will always be hers - and she gave him to me.  And I am happy with that. 

As you look over our site and learn more about Family Service Center, please let us know if we can help you in any way.  We will be happy to answer questions about adoption and the process for everyone involved - just let us know. 


Christine Lindsey Email